Empty just empty…..

Depressed, rather despondent and feeling pretty worthless since this morning. I know there are times where you feel like you’re the one at fault; it’s your problem because it was your genes that caused the issue, so you are to blame. This is where I am at right now and have been all day. I question myself if I’m a fit person let alone parent? I refuse to discuss at length the reason, just the fact that I feel this way and that it’s frustrating because I feel that I am the one that is directly the cause of the issue.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy and consider myself one the lucky people were able to get married have kids enjoy a life happily even with the bumpy obstacles life throws at you. Own a house able to experience life as a parent having the joy of raising children, helping them grow just being there when they’re sad or they get hurt or sick.

If I am lucky enough I may even be able to see my grandchildren, too before I pass off the mortal coils and face myself at the of journey and justify myself by asking have I led a good life ? Did I leave people happy, and content with the way things went in their lives rather than my own? I don’t know anymore, and I feel confused and alone even though I am not…………