Life for now

Still working on the z400 Work station, applied to Netflix didn’t get the job. Don’t know why I know I have the qualifications, I have Netflix, and I know how to troubleshoot connection, and software issues. I don’t get it, I’m a team player, I’m open to new techniques, I just don’t understand. Anyways, yea things at home are on the whole are good, Naomi and Megan are working and taking their generals at the local colleges. Valetine’s Day is today and I’m taking Ronda to a Paint Date night and a light bite to eat.

 

I’m learning to UV unwrap models to help Bruce out with building the prototype map and getting models setup and ready for use in UE4/Project. But, we’re still working on that prototype and have to give kudos to Bruce for sticking with me on this. I’ve also been a bit vocal with the recent political scene, and I apologize, not for my views but for the way I voiced them. I am not happy with the way the country is currently and I will leave it at that here.

 

Deanna still working on her Novel(s) and such, I am hopeful she’ll be employed soon, and be able to do the things she’d like to do in life. Her laptop has busted a hinge again, but this time instead of getting it repaired for her birthday present, she wanted other things.  I am hopeful that this is a sign that she is moving forward to wanting a job and being able to get the laptop she wants to have VS what she has at the moment.

 

Getting back into Adobe after Effects, testing out what information I have still have in this noggin of mine. Seems my wife found an article on Soda and funny thing there is something in Mt. Dew that supposedly affects memory, well that could explain a WHOLE lot of things over the past 20 plus years of my life. Still weaning myself off the stuff, and I will be off it totally at some point soon. I did it with cigarettes I can do with soda (But damn them for making it SO additive.)

 

 

My hope is also to live to see a grandchild or two as well. I want to be able to live till 2040 (Yea I know you that know me get the in joke) afterwards yea I’m ok with leaving this plane of existence.  But I’d like to live long enough to see my kids grown and my grandkids as well knowing they have a decent life ahead of them rather than some apocalyptic wasteland real life fallout is not something I would look forward to.  😉

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Political Rant on #TheFCC & #netneutrality

Here we are again at the closing of the year and the 4th Quarter. So far, our new President and Commander in Chief has alienated not only those that didn’t vote for him, but his own supporters.  Thanks for bringing us on the verge of WWIII, appointing a woman with no real knowledge on the environment, and some Lawyer that wants to line his own phat pockets with corporate money by killing #Netneutrality and allowing corporation to dictate what “we” can and cannot view on the internet.

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We’re already stepped back Forty years plus since #DonaldTrump aka #TheHumanCheeto took office he’s fucked up medical benefits, he’s downright insulted our military vets, he’s against LGBT communities, he’s fucked up more policies and caused more issues for the country than any president –ever-.  I didn’t vote for his stupid ass, the guy’s got some serious issues he brought to the oval office that should have been kept out. Now he’s got this #AjitPai as the head of the FCC? Are fucking nuts? First to Second Quarter two journalists filed actual lawsuits against the FCC for failure to comply with Freedom of Information Act requests on the same topic, one of where information about the FCC’s says that a supposed DDoS attack took its commenting system offline. Ajit Pai’s FCC has has little to no concern for the American people.

 

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You want do your part on trying to keep net neutrality? https://www.battleforthenet.com/ ß Join the battle, make your Voice heard, do something, do not be the sheep #trump and #AjitPai want you to be and become part of their #1984 wet dream. I am still under the opinion that Russia had a major influence in getting their meat puppet #DonaldTrump into office and the fact that he’s still in office and not impeached is still beyond this blogger’s mind. Do what you can to stop this shit or at least impede the process the asshats in office have started. I don’t want my children nor your children living in something that resembled the bleak times of the 60’s and 70’s eras. You let these asshats do whatever the fuck they want, they’ll have everything slammed shut and fake news everywhere and you will not know what truth is and what’s bullshit Political propaganda. yea I know the images are a tad over the top, but then again look at what we let walk into the Oval Office.

Florida Graduation trip Summer 2017

What up peepers? I decided to blog after the trip back from Florida for a our girls Vacation. It was a great time, 2 days at Disneyworld. We got to see Pandora the Avatar Theme area, including the mecha Exo suits by the Eatery and Gift Shoppe. We checked out the animal preserve there as well.  I did get some great pictures of the animals despite having a shitty iPhone 5C and its shit connection.

 

It was super humid there as well. The humidity was great for the girls and completion but the heat combined was awful. Ronda and I did escape from the girls for a day and went to Nasa Space Center there at the same time Mike Pence decided to show up and give some little speech on how cool it was that we finally got SpaceX launched finally have 2 horrible tries before. We even got to sit in on a talk with Ken Cameron Three time Space shuttle pilot and a Photo Op as well.

 

We went to Universal got some nice photos and some Video Footage of Diagon alley. I was able to get some of my butterbeer addiction going as well. The girls got some new wands and we did go to Honeyduke’s and The 3 Broomsticks got some new items for the Hogwarts section of our book case in the office downstairs. Funny thing though, Disney and Universal both having Marvel licenses neither one had anything with Stark Industries on the gift items. No Window Decals, no backpacks, nothing. I was sorely disappointed. I did however get a patch from NASA, which will go on my at some point leather jacket that I would wear during fall and winter, along with some of my other fandom fictional Corporations.

 

The flight back as a bit bumpy and instead of arriving early as predicted we ended up being 15 minutes late due to some light malfunction. Part of our larger luggage got slightly damaged nothing too noticeable. We ended up crashing when we got home. I ended up going to work instead of staying home and sleeping and a good thing too as I didn’t know this but my paid time off had ran out. So I ended up that week working 82+ hours and sleeping that Saturday in a bit till nine am in the morning. Well business is back to normal; Ronda’s watering the lawns while we try to recover them back to a nice green shade rather than the dead hue of fried hay. I was checking craigslist and ran across an excellent find. A 42 inch Plasma screen Video Panel with s video and rca hook ups no HDMI though.  Figure that would go great with my oldest’s console rather than that busted up 50 inch Sony with a busted color wheel in it. I will find a way to get rid of that TV.

 

I also got a Nokia Lumina 512 to replace that shit iPhone of mine. It is a Windows 8 as well.  I decided to try that out for a bit before going back to Android. Now have to find a replacement monitor for myself something nice 32 inches or more would be ideal, anyways that is all for now till Aug.

Stardate 95033.02

It’s Tuesday, I had my follow up appointment with the Doctor. I’m now officially a type II Diabetic and will be taking Metformin and another Med to take as well as a Meter to check my A1C and Glucose levels as well. I refuse to give in and I will beat this back to normal mark my words. I have started to ween myself off Mt. Dew for good, I have started off just with lemon infused water and have started to watch what I eat more and less food more tiny meals.

But I still feel depressed about this, doesn’t matter how much people say you’ll be better because of this, or good for you, because till I get this beat I am still 4x more prone to a heart attack or stroke now and that scares me to death. My dad has had a few of them already and had some severe blockage to the point that he can’t do any colonoscopies for fear he will bleed out with the meds they have him on.

My Wife’s been Diabetic for 14 yrs. 4 yrs. after the twins were born and sure with the food change the Doctor she had at the time had her on a strict regime and such and she lost weight with it but she as at the same sad, angry, just not her happy self and it wasn’t till she was able to find her happy place that she could be who she was and have the middle space and watch how she eats and what she drinks (Which can sometimes just ruin her.) Thing is I can’t see past myself right now, all I can think about is “am I ok? Am I going to be all right?” and all I can say to myself is I don’t know anymore. So even though I am setting these small goals I still feel helpless.

And I fear that if my mother in law finds out? Oh the shit will hit the fan and I don’t what I will do because the one I do not want is her getting involved in this at all or at any level. Because she goes on the tracks or diet plans and such and then attempts to get everyone else she knows that’s diabetic to join on in and well guess what? I just don’t want to deal with it, I have seen how she treats her own daughter and all I want to do is tell her to lay off and let everyone live the way they want and eat the way they want and let them make their own choices in life.
My colonoscopy is set for the 19th, 1st one ever. I’m scared of what they will find there as well, it would be just my luck to find out I have colon cancer, as things are the way there are right now. I’ve even thought it might be a blessing if I did have something that would just kill me right away of natural causes so my wife and the girls would have the money to pay off the house and I could just be cremated and flushed the kids would have the money to go to college get the schooling they deserve, and be able to take care of their mother after I’m gone.

I know I know, I’m not going to “kill” myself or anything like that, but sometimes I do wonder what life here would be after all was said and done. I know I have hurt people out there I never even met in real life and have wanted to and apologize for lashing out or just being and out right dick from time to time. I make no excuses for how I treated people, I was in dark places a number of times where I did want to just “go away” or “Vanish” or when at places I had been a part of where one or two people had said “Why are you even here? No one likes you, you’re annoying, you’d be better off if you’d just die and be done with it” and they got away with saying that type of tripe and the worse part was I started to believe them and I had to just leave those places behind me.

Only recently have I made contact with some of the people I used to hang around with online and after almost 8 yrs. of being away and slowly making my way into what I think could be being friends I’m told I have these health issues and if I don’t take care of them properly I might see a chance to see or have grandkids. Right now I feel I am in a dark space and no one really out there feels what I am feeling at the moment.

Almost a week after Election night and still…..

OK, Here’s the deal Trump might not be as bad as president. If you sit down and read his plans and not just the audios, they are not the worse thing that could be done at this point, the damage is already done. He may be impeached within 3yrs and that would leaves us with Michael Pence. If you are gay, a woman, or something other than a Christians, a young minority or anyway not a white upper class male? You are maybe truly screwed and for that I am truly sorry.

Here is the thing that has me really saying fuck the world. Everyone bitching about all the protesters rioting. Making stupid comments about “you didn’t see Republicans destroying public and private property when “Obama won” oh yes we did, The Republican party said they would obstruct the government at every chance they could to insure Obama and the Democratic party couldn’t move forward. The few things that did get pushed through were done because Obama tried to let them still make changes to everything he attempted to do, that’s because that is how democracy works! The Republicans have inadvertently slowed the recovery of this nation after Bush not Obama.

They destroyed the possibility for a better life in protest. Lets not go into the rise in hate crimes department due to Trump winning. Now if you are disgusted with all these protesters because they are throwing a fit because they didn’t get their way, no they are protesting because twice the past decade and a half their vote had been ignored. 200,000 plus votes thrown out in order for them to lose, this has happened 3x before the end of the last century.

It happened twice just this election, if you voted just for the Democratic candidates. Remember the last time a bunch of people on this continent didn’t have their voice heard in the ruling government? That was called what was of yea The Boston Tea party. This however has nothing to do with Trump or the Republicans or any of that.

It has to do with basic human rights. If you think your daughter has the right not to be raped or be groped by any stranger who fills like it. If someone had threatened to tear your family, your friends apart, invalidate your family altogether in the eyes of the country’s law. Take your parents away, deport you or exile you to a country you’ve never been to, or your sons and daughters fear for their life if they had to walk the streets. Your daughters could be harassed, your sons beaten and killed because of their religion or god knows their sexual preferences. A police state that is above the law, they are supposed to protect and serve. That was lost because you voted to condone these possible actions. Not because Trump is president, let’s be clear on that.

hello …..

Hello to those that follow this WP blog. It’s been pretty much a shitty moment it time recently. I had to finally pay that 175.00 of 210.00 for the accident I was involved in back in Feb. We purchased our tickets for Anime Banzai for October, even though money is/was tight, it is one the few times in the year we get to de-stress and get away from the everyday grind and routine.

My wife’s niece April passed away at age 22, no one should ever have to go through outliving their child(ren). Her mother is heartbroken as it is after losing her mother last year around this exact time as well. The service was nice, the funeral was as expected, and we did get to see relatives we had not seen in just under a year. This brings a lot in perspective as you get older.

A Buddy & Co-worker brought back the pc tower I lent him for 3d Printing options. It didn’t work well for him in Vista 64 Bit. I am really considering transferring my HDD with windows 10 on it and throwing my 2 gig PCIE Video card and work from that PC and then retire the old family dell and put my old tower in its place.

I got a raise at work as well, felt pretty cool about that. Hopefully I will get back to working weekdays instead of through the weekend. People are cheering that trump is leading in the presidential race and that it will be between Clinton and Sanders on who will be his arch-nemesis during the elections. I’m sorry I want neither Clinton nor trump in office. I do not think they are good for America. Anyways, that’s what’s going on at this point and time.

so yea……

Yea hey,

It’s me again, been busy working Overtime and more Overtime. We finally got around to replacing one the doors on the house which was indeed need of replacing not repairing “replacing”. Sunday was a fine example of frustration, I am doing the dishes and the water just stops yet you can still hear it, I look under the sink and that $!#(%^@ Sprayer hose has popped off the faucet and I end up with a 20 minute clean up session under the sink in the kitchen. I did call the faucet company and told them that the faucet (in my opinion) has a defect since it is the 2 time replacing the sprayer attachment for this sink.

On top of that, I have been working from 4/4/16 to current and I will not be off till Thursday and that means I am working Saturday so that also means I have to move the cosplay meeting down to later in the day or on a week that I actually CAN A FREAKING WEEKEND OFF AGAIN ! (Huffing angrily ) but I get we need coverage, I just wished that some of the people we hired weren’t fucking crazy or bails because oh gee the job I wanted and paid more came through. I just want my weekends back that’s all, is that so much to ask for? I guess so, for now this is me and this me disgruntled.