General | Madarame's Blog of musings

Two years, its already been two years.

Posted on February 8 by Madarame-Harunobu

It is already 2 years since my last posting? Well where to start off I been working at Morgan Stanley for roughly 2 years and then had a opportunity to go work at MDF which was the big mistake because 6 months later ”Got to let you go” no real reason just me and 2 others gone. That was June of last year. What have I been doing since? Nothing save looking for a job 350,000 supposed NEW jobs out there and not one of these &^#$ will hire me! SO frustrated I can do VoIP, Active directory and cyber security and Internet Service Support for Crist sakes!

I am still streaming under the tag of Tehloen on twitch have less than 90 followers and been on for 2 yrs. but I’ll make it 101 followers someday and be able to use emotes …..One day. I did get involved on Blue-sky; they just now opened to the public. I was to get a few fellow Waste landers to come over from twitter on over I use both but trying to leave twitter behind in the dust. I am back to using Stream labs Desktop *sigh* it would be nice if X-split was stable enough to stay connected and quite crashing during the middle of a stream. Then again there are times where Comcast fucks up and lags me to where I have to start the stream over or just not stream period, ergo my lack of content as of last, oh and I was banned on twitch channels of @GamingGranny56 and @BendyJenga both on twitter, reason unknown for Granny as far as Bendy goes well, I was a bit disrespectful when walking into the channel and not reading the room for a moment (ADHD moment) and was booted off. I made apologies but that didn’t cut it (Right mim!) I told I would self-exile from her twitch and twitter and not be bothered by me again. Trying to keep my own words and adhere to what I said.

Mentally how am I? Probably the same as anyone who has lost the parent (Yea still grieving) they could talk with and feel normal when talking or discussing things of personal / private in nature. I’m angry I have a number of medical conditions I refuse to talk about (don’t ask please.) I frustrated that these %##@ places that say “Oh Hey you’re perfect for this position” and apply and then either get ghosted or be told sorry you don’t have the skills. FUCK THAT SHIT! I have skills, some more than others, and I am willing to work overtime and such. I have been awarded a number of times from different employers for my technical AND my client support skills. What the fuck does it take to get a god damn job that is technically based and remote!?! I am betting it’s because I’m 57 there is age discrimination but try proving that to the BBB! I need to be able to work remotely to keep a tab on matter I am not at liberty to discuss, but ideally making 40K and working remotely to take care things after work hours and being able to have some control is needed currently until others have their licenses and can drive themselves without problems.

I have been talking @C27Penn, @Mawtater, @ThiccMethod to name a few from the SlothCrew and #FalloutForHope team for St. Judes charity has kept me from going off the rails at times where I just want to destroy everything say fuck it and just drive and keep driving and I don’t what afterwards. Yea I know we’re not supposed to think like that, we’re 57 we’re supposed to be mature enough and rational enough to not have those thoughts, but they happen and if I am being honest no real amount of meds will change it now either. I don’t make excuses for my behavior, I can be an ass sometimes, but I try to keep that reeled in, been bully and talked down to too many times to not realize when I become one and have to self-contain that which wishes to “Rip and Tear” till all is gone from the despair. That’s all for now ranting is over. Doubt anyone will see this.

Life for now

Posted on February 14, 2018 by Madarame-Harunobu

Still working on the z400 Work station, applied to Netflix didn’t get the job. Don’t know why I know I have the qualifications, I have Netflix, and I know how to troubleshoot connection, and software issues. I don’t get it, I’m a team player, I’m open to new techniques, I just don’t understand. Anyways, yea things at home are on the whole are good, Naomi and Megan are working and taking their generals at the local colleges. Valetine’s Day is today and I’m taking Ronda to a Paint Date night and a light bite to eat.

I’m learning to UV unwrap models to help Bruce out with building the prototype map and getting models setup and ready for use in UE4/Project. But, we’re still working on that prototype and have to give kudos to Bruce for sticking with me on this. I’ve also been a bit vocal with the recent political scene, and I apologize, not for my views but for the way I voiced them. I am not happy with the way the country is currently and I will leave it at that here.

Deanna still working on her Novel(s) and such, I am hopeful she’ll be employed soon, and be able to do the things she’d like to do in life. Her laptop has busted a hinge again, but this time instead of getting it repaired for her birthday present, she wanted other things. I am hopeful that this is a sign that she is moving forward to wanting a job and being able to get the laptop she wants to have VS what she has at the moment.

Getting back into Adobe after Effects, testing out what information I have still have in this noggin of mine. Seems my wife found an article on Soda and funny thing there is something in Mt. Dew that supposedly affects memory, well that could explain a WHOLE lot of things over the past 20 plus years of my life. Still weaning myself off the stuff, and I will be off it totally at some point soon. I did it with cigarettes I can do with soda (But damn them for making it SO additive.)

My hope is also to live to see a grandchild or two as well. I want to be able to live till 2040 (Yea I know you that know me get the in joke) afterwards yea I’m ok with leaving this plane of existence. But I’d like to live long enough to see my kids grown and my grandkids as well knowing they have a decent life ahead of them rather than some apocalyptic wasteland real life fallout is not something I would look forward to. 😉

Trump Year One, and it’s a been one…….

Posted on February 13, 2018 by Madarame-Harunobu

More and more people are just debating everything our supposedly (fairly) elected Leader is doing is good for our country. I don’t think so, for one he’s wanting to abolish mandatory vaccination against various diseases and medical conditions? Seriously? So you mean to tell me you want give people the choice on whether or not they want to be protected from Polio, bacterium Yersinia pestis, Vaccinia, Zoster Measles, mumps, rubella? If you want to be one of those who chooses to not get vaccinated, move away from me if you please. I’m not going to risk my family to exposure from you. I believe in vaccination, and preventive medicine.

As far as like NASA goes, he wants to have privately ran companies to run the space station? Are you nuts? Literally, how are you going to train them before they go up? Just because Elon musk launched a tesla into space that gives everyone else that has a wallet that could choke Cthulhu can go or should go to space. Wtf do you think this is Elysium? I cannot believe trump would be that stupid, oh wait yes I can! Some will say will Obama cutting funding for NASA during his terms, yea and he also realized what a mistake it was to do so and reeled that back in a bit. There are many more subjects I could touch base with and trigger others with as well, it’s not my intention to trigger any one of you reading this, I’m however giving you my opinion of the current state of our country with is rather sad and dangerous in some aspects as well.

As much as I’d love to go back to a 80’s type economy and Country Structure, I don’t think it will be feasible with the current in charge of sitting in the seat of power. When I heard about the Missile alert in Hawaii, I won’t lie I was actually scared a bit shitless and peed a little, because btw him and that other country leader (he who shall not be spoken of) can’t get along even at a political or courteous level have such extremes they go to piss each other off with. It is my fear that this planet will have a very serious problem because of Donald trump and his stance with the way he wants the country ran.

Political Rant on #TheFCC & #netneutrality

Posted on November 22, 2017 by Madarame-Harunobu

Here we are again at the closing of the year and the 4^th Quarter. So far, our new President and Commander in Chief has alienated not only those that didn’t vote for him, but his own supporters. Thanks for bringing us on the verge of WWIII, appointing a woman with no real knowledge on the environment, and some Lawyer that wants to line his own phat pockets with corporate money by killing #Netneutrality and allowing corporation to dictate what “we” can and cannot view on the internet.

Capture1

We’re already stepped back Forty years plus since #DonaldTrump aka #TheHumanCheeto took office he’s fucked up medical benefits, he’s downright insulted our military vets, he’s against LGBT communities, he’s fucked up more policies and caused more issues for the country than any president –ever-. I didn’t vote for his stupid ass, the guy’s got some serious issues he brought to the oval office that should have been kept out. Now he’s got this #AjitPai as the head of the FCC? Are fucking nuts? First to Second Quarter two journalists filed actual lawsuits against the FCC for failure to comply with Freedom of Information Act requests on the same topic, one of where information about the FCC’s says that a supposed DDoS attack took its commenting system offline. Ajit Pai’s FCC has has little to no concern for the American people.

Capture

You want do your part on trying to keep net neutrality? https://www.battleforthenet.com/ ß Join the battle, make your Voice heard, do something, do not be the sheep #trump and #AjitPai want you to be and become part of their #1984 wet dream. I am still under the opinion that Russia had a major influence in getting their meat puppet #DonaldTrump into office and the fact that he’s still in office and not impeached is still beyond this blogger’s mind. Do what you can to stop this shit or at least impede the process the asshats in office have started. I don’t want my children nor your children living in something that resembled the bleak times of the 60’s and 70’s eras. You let these asshats do whatever the fuck they want, they’ll have everything slammed shut and fake news everywhere and you will not know what truth is and what’s bullshit Political propaganda. yea I know the images are a tad over the top, but then again look at what we let walk into the Oval Office.

Florida Graduation trip Summer 2017

Posted on July 23, 2017 by Madarame-Harunobu

What up peepers? I decided to blog after the trip back from Florida for a our girls Vacation. It was a great time, 2 days at Disneyworld. We got to see Pandora the Avatar Theme area, including the mecha Exo suits by the Eatery and Gift Shoppe. We checked out the animal preserve there as well. I did get some great pictures of the animals despite having a shitty iPhone 5C and its shit connection.

It was super humid there as well. The humidity was great for the girls and completion but the heat combined was awful. Ronda and I did escape from the girls for a day and went to Nasa Space Center there at the same time Mike Pence decided to show up and give some little speech on how cool it was that we finally got SpaceX launched finally have 2 horrible tries before. We even got to sit in on a talk with Ken Cameron Three time Space shuttle pilot and a Photo Op as well.

We went to Universal got some nice photos and some Video Footage of Diagon alley. I was able to get some of my butterbeer addiction going as well. The girls got some new wands and we did go to Honeyduke’s and The 3 Broomsticks got some new items for the Hogwarts section of our book case in the office downstairs. Funny thing though, Disney and Universal both having Marvel licenses neither one had anything with Stark Industries on the gift items. No Window Decals, no backpacks, nothing. I was sorely disappointed. I did however get a patch from NASA, which will go on my at some point leather jacket that I would wear during fall and winter, along with some of my other fandom fictional Corporations.

The flight back as a bit bumpy and instead of arriving early as predicted we ended up being 15 minutes late due to some light malfunction. Part of our larger luggage got slightly damaged nothing too noticeable. We ended up crashing when we got home. I ended up going to work instead of staying home and sleeping and a good thing too as I didn’t know this but my paid time off had ran out. So I ended up that week working 82+ hours and sleeping that Saturday in a bit till nine am in the morning. Well business is back to normal; Ronda’s watering the lawns while we try to recover them back to a nice green shade rather than the dead hue of fried hay. I was checking craigslist and ran across an excellent find. A 42 inch Plasma screen Video Panel with s video and rca hook ups no HDMI though. Figure that would go great with my oldest’s console rather than that busted up 50 inch Sony with a busted color wheel in it. I will find a way to get rid of that TV.

I also got a Nokia Lumina 512 to replace that shit iPhone of mine. It is a Windows 8 as well. I decided to try that out for a bit before going back to Android. Now have to find a replacement monitor for myself something nice 32 inches or more would be ideal, anyways that is all for now till Aug.

Almost a week after Election night and still…..

Posted on November 13, 2016 by Madarame-Harunobu

OK, Here’s the deal Trump might not be as bad as president. If you sit down and read his plans and not just the audios, they are not the worse thing that could be done at this point, the damage is already done. He may be impeached within 3yrs and that would leaves us with Michael Pence. If you are gay, a woman, or something other than a Christians, a young minority or anyway not a white upper class male? You are maybe truly screwed and for that I am truly sorry.

Here is the thing that has me really saying fuck the world. Everyone bitching about all the protesters rioting. Making stupid comments about “you didn’t see Republicans destroying public and private property when “Obama won” oh yes we did, The Republican party said they would obstruct the government at every chance they could to insure Obama and the Democratic party couldn’t move forward. The few things that did get pushed through were done because Obama tried to let them still make changes to everything he attempted to do, that’s because that is how democracy works! The Republicans have inadvertently slowed the recovery of this nation after Bush not Obama.

They destroyed the possibility for a better life in protest. Lets not go into the rise in hate crimes department due to Trump winning. Now if you are disgusted with all these protesters because they are throwing a fit because they didn’t get their way, no they are protesting because twice the past decade and a half their vote had been ignored. 200,000 plus votes thrown out in order for them to lose, this has happened 3x before the end of the last century.

It happened twice just this election, if you voted just for the Democratic candidates. Remember the last time a bunch of people on this continent didn’t have their voice heard in the ruling government? That was called what was of yea The Boston Tea party. This however has nothing to do with Trump or the Republicans or any of that.

It has to do with basic human rights. If you think your daughter has the right not to be raped or be groped by any stranger who fills like it. If someone had threatened to tear your family, your friends apart, invalidate your family altogether in the eyes of the country’s law. Take your parents away, deport you or exile you to a country you’ve never been to, or your sons and daughters fear for their life if they had to walk the streets. Your daughters could be harassed, your sons beaten and killed because of their religion or god knows their sexual preferences. A police state that is above the law, they are supposed to protect and serve. That was lost because you voted to condone these possible actions. Not because Trump is president, let’s be clear on that.

so yea……

Posted on April 12, 2016 by Madarame-Harunobu

Yea hey,

It’s me again, been busy working Overtime and more Overtime. We finally got around to replacing one the doors on the house which was indeed need of replacing not repairing “replacing”. Sunday was a fine example of frustration, I am doing the dishes and the water just stops yet you can still hear it, I look under the sink and that $!#(%^@ Sprayer hose has popped off the faucet and I end up with a 20 minute clean up session under the sink in the kitchen. I did call the faucet company and told them that the faucet (in my opinion) has a defect since it is the 2 time replacing the sprayer attachment for this sink.

On top of that, I have been working from 4/4/16 to current and I will not be off till Thursday and that means I am working Saturday so that also means I have to move the cosplay meeting down to later in the day or on a week that I actually CAN A FREAKING WEEKEND OFF AGAIN ! (Huffing angrily ) but I get we need coverage, I just wished that some of the people we hired weren’t fucking crazy or bails because oh gee the job I wanted and paid more came through. I just want my weekends back that’s all, is that so much to ask for? I guess so, for now this is me and this me disgruntled.

A Moment of Truth from the past.

Posted on January 16, 2016 by Madarame-Harunobu

OK, ignore that #CharlieChaplin who seems to be portraying Adolf Hitler, but is rather playing a jewish barber. Please #Listen to what is being saying #Politically . I for one have now at this point and time understand more to what he is saying, and I can say that I am taken back because what he is saying and I can see how the world is currently. It invokes a depression in one when thinking upon the truth of what is being said in the video and realizing just what is going on currently in world affairs today.

In my opinion 35 years ago the country and the world was a better place to live in. Now we just have puppets in office doing what the corporations want rather that what is good for the country and global good, leading the global lemmings in their dream like states buying engaging and consuming, rinse lather repeat, not actually seeing the corruption that is happening out there.

The deals being made behind closed doors, the terrorists, the destruction, the greed that has corrupted the hearts and souls of today’s society singular not plural because at one point we were “one” society working to benefit humankind not tear it down, not ruin that which was given to us to make choices towards a better future.

All I have seen over the past decades is a world that has going to hell in a hand basket and feel like there is not much I can do about it, but if this helps open up the eyes of few, wake them up to ways or paths on how to correct the path we are going down then in some small way I feel like I have helped push ourselves from the bring of self extinction.

Because realistically the human race not just countries, the planet as a whole is on a road to extinction. Take it leave it, I am posting it up because this is something I’ve known for a bit but finally decided to share my opinion on it. #GlobalWakeUp #BecomeAStrongerPlanet I doubt many will understand nor even share or reply to this, but one can hope that the population sees this as one truth to current state of the world as it is now.

Friday the 13th and a bunch of stuff to complain about.

Posted on November 13, 2015 by Madarame-Harunobu

Hey what’s up peeps?

It’s just me again posting up some of the generals of whats been going on here. Been lamenting about not being able to get Fallout 4, and feeling envy and anger because of it. I gave a quad-core to a fellow coworker and friend for his 3D printer and for my contribution I will be getting a pipboy3k and either Glados in the form of a Lamp project or a AER9 Laser Rifle I think the rifle may be the better way to go since the Glados prop is like 2,5 Kg of filament.

It came to my attention here on Friday Nov. 13^th that a friend of mine is being lambasted for his beliefs and sharing them for discussion. This also brought up thread on Buddhism where there were some light flaming/trolling but also serious replies adding to the discussion and then the site admin closes and locks it saying things such as “I didn’t do anything about the rampant garbage posts that eventually lead to everyone leaving.” Well had you been doing your Duty as Site Admin and Moderator and had your team doing their share “MAYBE” and I use that term loosely , that your site/community based from a “webcomic” that died over like roughly 12/14 years ago wouldn’t be so full of shit and sadness.

Sometimes you just have to let something pass and die and bury it with dignity instead of dragging out over a period of years in hopes that the creator of said “webcomic” decides to create a new one and re-register the originating website domain, which pretty much not going to happen from what I’ve seen and heard over the years. Clanbob has become a site occupied mostly by bullies and should just disappear, I won’t say they are on par with GamersGate because that would give them too much credit. This site has gone through I think 5 incarnations and each one has died mostly a sad death each one sadder as it goes along. I will leave this with “DIE CLANBOB DIE” ! 😀

Other than that, I am also updating my Genshiken Nidiame Manga library, and awaiting the premier of Accel World Infinity Burst for the next Quarter on the Anime Season. I’m also researching on how to repair this R2 unit I bought last year online, it’s got to be something simple. I’m learning how to manipulate Rainmeter skins to how I’d like the computer to react, and also back to teaching the voice command software to learn and detect my voice and obey the commands I give it. A Steam Friend and Co-Worker got me Portal 2 for my account the other day! Yay me and thanks to my friend for getting that, it was very cool of him, now I just have to start some coop fun with it. Also started a few weapon prop projects with a few fellow cosplay buds as well, but they’ve been in it longer than I have and they’re slightly younger as well save for one to three of us. The makeshift paint booth is still up and sturdy and hasn’t had to be replaced yet as well which is good.

Work is fine, it’s paying bills and medical expenses. I wished I was working 8 to 5 or 9 to 6 with Saturday and Sunday off like I was supposed to, but I have to take what I can for my family. Hopefully things will fall back into line and I will be able to get the 8 to 5 shift with Saturday and Sunday off and be able to be around my family more again. For now I’m done and back to work for me. Be well readers and my fellow WP bloggers. Next entry will be just after Thanksgiving I think.

Got Burned on Listia. BUYERS BEWARE THIS TWATWAFFLE

Posted on November 9, 2015 by Madarame-Harunobu

https://twitter.com/leo4win

http://pokemonshowdown.com/users/leo4win

https://plus.google.com/117717345385595926559/posts

https://www.listia.com/auction/26503283-antec-nine-hundred-black-steel-atx-mid

https://www.listia.com/auction/26754915-luminescent-mouse-gaming-mouse-optical

The guy above deserves more than some public shameing spread the word on this please share with your buddies. Dude went to listia, posted up several numbers of PC Items like a Number Sharkk Gaming Mice, 3 Antec PC Cases and NXT Cases I won 1 Antec Case and a Sharkk Gaming mouse the shipping said 5.00 for the mouse and 5.99 for the Antec Case which I paid thru paypal. Yea, I thought it cold be sketchy but I’ll take a small chance that this person was a honest individual, boy what a fucking joke that was on me. But I curse this kid gets cock rot before he hits his 21st birthday.

Two weeks later nothing nadda a empty mail box. So when I decided to attempt to contact this “Wally” person seems I had been blocked from his page said it didn’t exist or some such but since I had a older account I decided to play detective and logged in with my older listia account and yup that fucking little twatwaffle blocked me and took the money and ran without any a word.

So I got my points back after demanding a refund and I have already escalated my case with Paypal and they are investigating it to get my money back from this little shit but BUYER BEWARE @LEO4WIN is NOT to be trusted. Listia.com is a great place, but there are assholes there as well that think it’s funny to scam people to hold their credits in escrow and not do anything about it.