Stardate 95033.02

It’s Tuesday, I had my follow up appointment with the Doctor. I’m now officially a type II Diabetic and will be taking Metformin and another Med to take as well as a Meter to check my A1C and Glucose levels as well. I refuse to give in and I will beat this back to normal mark my words. I have started to ween myself off Mt. Dew for good, I have started off just with lemon infused water and have started to watch what I eat more and less food more tiny meals.

But I still feel depressed about this, doesn’t matter how much people say you’ll be better because of this, or good for you, because till I get this beat I am still 4x more prone to a heart attack or stroke now and that scares me to death. My dad has had a few of them already and had some severe blockage to the point that he can’t do any colonoscopies for fear he will bleed out with the meds they have him on.

My Wife’s been Diabetic for 14 yrs. 4 yrs. after the twins were born and sure with the food change the Doctor she had at the time had her on a strict regime and such and she lost weight with it but she as at the same sad, angry, just not her happy self and it wasn’t till she was able to find her happy place that she could be who she was and have the middle space and watch how she eats and what she drinks (Which can sometimes just ruin her.) Thing is I can’t see past myself right now, all I can think about is “am I ok? Am I going to be all right?” and all I can say to myself is I don’t know anymore. So even though I am setting these small goals I still feel helpless.

And I fear that if my mother in law finds out? Oh the shit will hit the fan and I don’t what I will do because the one I do not want is her getting involved in this at all or at any level. Because she goes on the tracks or diet plans and such and then attempts to get everyone else she knows that’s diabetic to join on in and well guess what? I just don’t want to deal with it, I have seen how she treats her own daughter and all I want to do is tell her to lay off and let everyone live the way they want and eat the way they want and let them make their own choices in life.
My colonoscopy is set for the 19th, 1st one ever. I’m scared of what they will find there as well, it would be just my luck to find out I have colon cancer, as things are the way there are right now. I’ve even thought it might be a blessing if I did have something that would just kill me right away of natural causes so my wife and the girls would have the money to pay off the house and I could just be cremated and flushed the kids would have the money to go to college get the schooling they deserve, and be able to take care of their mother after I’m gone.

I know I know, I’m not going to “kill” myself or anything like that, but sometimes I do wonder what life here would be after all was said and done. I know I have hurt people out there I never even met in real life and have wanted to and apologize for lashing out or just being and out right dick from time to time. I make no excuses for how I treated people, I was in dark places a number of times where I did want to just “go away” or “Vanish” or when at places I had been a part of where one or two people had said “Why are you even here? No one likes you, you’re annoying, you’d be better off if you’d just die and be done with it” and they got away with saying that type of tripe and the worse part was I started to believe them and I had to just leave those places behind me.

Only recently have I made contact with some of the people I used to hang around with online and after almost 8 yrs. of being away and slowly making my way into what I think could be being friends I’m told I have these health issues and if I don’t take care of them properly I might see a chance to see or have grandkids. Right now I feel I am in a dark space and no one really out there feels what I am feeling at the moment.

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Happy 4th year of Blogging

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Has it been 4 years since 10-13-2010, I left clanbob, and started on this Blog just a few months before hand after realizing livejournal was just a pain in the ass. Got to say I’m surprised it’s been that long. Hell what was I doing back then? I was by then working for the IP Department of the local cable company and discovered one the Ex-ElderBOB Mechazilla worked at the same company, different department.

Don’t know if he’s still working there or not since the nationwide layoffs there were in effect roughly just over 2 years ago. Man, time does fly after all. Since then, started Jade Phoenix, my own little notch in the internet vastness, and even though it hasn’t had much updating news wise? It’s still mine to admin and tweak, and continues to learn off of as well.

I’ve also haven’t done much artwork either on my DA account, not that I’ve given up. There just hasn’t been much to inspire my artistic flame as of late. I cut ties with a lot of people I just couldn’t get along with or just wouldn’t be honest with me and just talk. jason was one that I have no problem dropping as a friend. He always said I took the internet as serious business -all the time- and would talk about me behind my back or when I wasn’t around. We call those “fair weather” friends and I just have no tolorance for that type of person. Amanda, well like I said in my last entry, I pretty much screwed that up myself, and at the same time though she couldn’t be honest with me and let me know she was having issues and also had some personal matters to contend with. Would that have been so hard?

I guess but with the people I normally deal with I’ve just got tired of al the stupidity. IS it so hard to try to keepng with, no arguments, no hatefulness, no trolling, no bullying, just talking and trying to see each other’s side of the fence? I’m not saying everything was their fault either. I’m not perfect, never laid claim to that type of asshattery, but then again what led me and them down those particular paths? Just maybe growing apart, finding different interests, just tired of each other?

I’ve got more into reading again as well, manga mostly. I still however have the inclination to pick up a paperback, or a tech manual and read up on some things that I may not know or have some inkling knowledge of. I picked up WordPress 3 The Cookbook to learn a bit more on how the layouts and designs work, I might even attempt to tweak this journal as well.

My friend Bev, she’s been busy as well. For as long as I’ve known her she’s been working on getting her characters and universe up and off the ground and getting published. Guess what? She did, she’s got her book and is going on tour soon. I’m pretty envious and yet proud of her because she was able to do what she wanted to do with her life. It took her a few years, but then again what ideas don’t take a few years or even a decade or two to become realities? It’s my hope that with then next 4 years I’ll have my pet project at least in beta stage and being play tested. Anyways, Happy 4th year Birthday My WP Blog, happy birthday such as it is.

Here is an Awesome Piece of News from Google!

Check this, Google has wearable tech now labeled “Glass”. These stylish optical frames allows you to connect, blog, record, share, hangout, get the weather, get directions, and other unique functions as well. I’m also betting that the screen in front will also allow those with vision impairment to see well and share with others while interfacing with their PC, or Mac, or Palm pilot/pda tablet thru Bluetooth.

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This was a concept I and a few others saw 20 years ago when the Role Playing game by Catalyst Game Labs “Shadowrun” game out and introduced the X Generation to a universe only limited to your own imagination with some extras thrown in for missions and other ventures into a universe where dragons can carry around a Railgun and not have to breath fire to scare one into crapping their pants by sheer appearance only. Glass also resembled an item in another RPG World from Palladium called “Rifts“, and also Gurp and Champions.

Seeing this become a reality opens doors in technology. Media, Education, health science, there are many uses for #GoogleGlass and I hope I become one the few many that will get a chance to experience the #GoogleGlass when it comes around my town 😉 .

Anime Reveiw AD POLICE TO PROTECT AND SERVE

The A.D. Police saga is one of the fan loved series spin-offs from the BGC anime franchise. As the cyber crime ratio rises in MegaTokyo escalates, political pressure mounts towards the A.D. Police to stop the increasing numbers of mutating cyborgs known as VOOMERS. During this surge of outbreaks, the friendships between members of the AD Police’s Elite team are stretched out a bit to one degree or another.

Small Background history

The year is 2020, and after a devastating earthquake, MegaTokyo also known as Genom City, was being rebuilt at the hands of the cyborg VOOMERS—Voodoo Organic Metal Extension Resources—built by Genom Corp, whose office tower now dominates the skyline. The machines, known as Voomers, have become an integral part of life now, doing heavy construction and maintenance, in addition to more mundane and menial chores. A number of these nits have been known to go rogue for one reason or another, and their destructive rampages can be fatal. To counter this increasing menace, the Advanced Police were formed as an elite police division, focused on Voomer crimes.

Setting is 19 years later after the Quake and the ongoing rebuild of MegaTokyo – Circa 2039

ADP Officer Kenji Sasaki has to come to grips when accepting Hans Kleif as his new partner. He has his own personal demons to deal with, if he is to deal with what faces him and faces the A.D. Police as well all the while investigating the Cyber-espionage and keep the VOOMERS from wreaking havoc on MegaTokyo into a Techno-Warzone. He tends to be the lone point man in his own regards, he takes risks, he also has attitude adjustments that reflect on being someone who is not really that much of a “team player”, but he is good at what he does, and that is what it takes when dealing with machines that have the capacity to take down a building with a few well places blows to the infrastructure, and where lives are at risk.

Unfortunately, the free spirit does not work well with social skills, Kenji’s first meeting with his new partner Hans Kleif, who transferred in from the NP (Normal Police) of Germany, is well let’s be honest, it was less than friendly. Kleif is the good looking Action Hero/Officer type, being shot in the line of duty and losing part of his long term memory and with a possible love interest with the doctor, who is supposedly help him out in trying to regain those memories makes him one the characters the viewer will somehow relate with and stay engaged with the story.

Let’s introduce the rest of the team! We have Jose Collins, who is also the team leader and the demolitions expert. Next the rather tall and blonde explosives expert, Karen Jordon who hails from New York City USA. Then there is also her partner and bud at the bar Ms. Mary Malone who hails from California USA, the resident firebee and aerial combat vehicle pilot. Then comes the part of who they report to, El Jefe Ms. Nancy Wilson also from New York USA as well, who is over the operations of this ADP Squad. Being involved over a city with a growing Voomer threat, crimes are high, as well as something new developing in MegaTokyo.

The Voomer market has expanded worldwide, creating opportunities to insert a criminal element involving mafia/yakauza organizations one especially known is The Backers syndicate, exporting Voomers of questionable background to other companies in need of said merchandise. One of the more notorious of these crime syndicates leaders is Mr. Liam Fletcher, who becomes a major suspect for the A.D. Police, since a series of incidents start to end connecting and centering around the Backer syndicates operations.

Now I love the BGC Franchise as a whole, I have watched all the OVAs, The TV Series, The Manga and Magazine articles over the years. The Three part OVA Set from 1989 comapred to this 1999 pre-quel, you can’t really compare the two series. I liked the OVA as well as The TV series they are both engaging but the TV series has a more intertwinging and plotline which was what got a hold of me and kept my interest. Now with the OVA series it was more due to the individual stories and how they intertwined and yet didn’t as well.

It did have a equal gritty feel to it but a different sense on a social scale, there is a better interaction with cast development and intrigue, and there is a definite sense of “Action Hero” involved in it as well. Back to the TV series, as I went through I got a sense of familiarity growing within the team structure and how Hans and Kenji started to work more as a dynamic duo (No pun there huh?), but at the same time also building a better working force as well as you’ll see as you watch it yourselves. Lots of great involvement on character interacting and some plot catching scenes to keep the viewer engaged and wanting to watch to the end of the series.

The story development has some weak points like any other story, but the character design was well thought out, however the uniforms were a bit inconsistent as far as uniformity was concerned. This world here shows a more realistic environment of a Japan that has been hit by an earthquake and is still recovering from said disaster even after being 19 years later. The story has a gritty but enjoyable feel to it for those of us out there that enjoy a cool cyberpunk type environment, RPG games, graphic novels and the ilk.

ADV has this out on the Market as a 2 DVD Boxed set, in my opinion its well worth getting and the pricing is more than reasonable. Some of you may not be a big fan by reviews, but I have seen and read what’s out there regarding the BGC/ADP Franchise that’s been translated in English and I am impressed and own a copy of this box set myself. The Artwork and the fact that it also has a decent opening and closing textless video theme sequence was also an added bonus as well.